Personal Stories
This page is for Friends to offer personal experiences which lead to reflections on the reality of abortion and/or euthanasia. If you have any you'd like to offer, please send them to:
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From Kye Parsons, member of Rockingham Monthly Meeting / Ohio Yearly Meeting
posted 11/15/2009
My wife Evangeline and I were overjoyed when in the fall of 2006 we learned that we were expecting our second child. Our first child, Kirsten, who was 3 at the time, would have a sibling close to her age.
For the most part, everything was going well and my wife was eating right and taking care of herself. Well, we thought everything was fine until about five months into the pregnancy, when we received some disturbing news from the obstetrician. In a very matter-of-fact way, he told us that prenatal screening had indicated that there was a higher than normal risk of our baby being born with Down syndrome. My wife was 34 at the time, and apparently age and genetics contributed to the risk. Needless to say, we were surprised and upset upon hearing the news.
We were very aware of the significant physical and mental challenges that accompany children with Down syndrome. We also knew that people with Down syndrome usually have shorter life expectancies than the rest of the general population. And now we were being told that there was a very distinct possibility that our second child could be born with the disorder.
Our hearts were racing as the doctor spoke to us that further testing would be necessary to help determine if indeed our baby would be born with Down syndrome. He explained that if we did find out that our baby was born with it, he would discuss the "options" with us since caring for a child with Down syndrome is much more difficult than caring for children without this condition. Come to find out, one of those "options" to which the doctor was referring was the termination of the pregnancy.
When it came to abortion, my wife and I, who are members of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), have always taken a strong pro-life stance. But now we were faced with the real test. If indeed we did find out for sure that our baby would be born with Down syndrome, what would we do? After all, caring for a child with Down syndrome requires significantly more attention, time, effort and money than caring for a child without the disorder. That may explain why it is estimated that a very high percentage (some studies show that between 91 and 93 percent) of all pregnancies in the United States with a diagnosis of Down syndrome are terminated.
From the start, however, we decided that no matter the outcome of the tests, abortion was out of the question. We truly believe that all life is sacred and even children with Down syndrome deserve a chance to live. We were resolute in our decision and made that known to the obstetrician. Of course, he did want us to go for more testing. Even for those parents like us who are adamantly opposed to abortion, advanced testing would allow medical providers the chance to give specialized prenatal treatment to the fetus if indeed Down syndrome is diagnosed. It also gives parents a chance to get prepared for the difficult challenges that lie ahead.
Our obstetrician decided that the next step in the process would be for my wife to go to a specialist for a 3D ultrasound, which is used to examine fetal anatomy in fetuses at risk for Down syndrome. The ultrasound would give the specialist an opportunity to see if there were any physical malformations in the fetus that are characteristic of Down syndrome.
After leaving the doctor's office, we prayed to the Lord for His help and asked Him for a healthy baby. Even if that was not to be the case, we asked the Lord to give us the strength to carry on. So the next day, with much anxiety and trepidation, we set out from our home in Salisbury, Maryland to the state capital of Annapolis where we met with the specialist. I was in the room with the doctor and my wife as he began the 3D ultrasound evaluation. It was amazing seeing our baby inside the womb and in 3D at that! To our immense relief, the doctor said he could see no abnormalities and he was very confident that our baby would be born without complications. We immediately thanked God for the news as the last couple of days had been very emotionally taxing on both my wife and me.
About four months later my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Kayley. She was in good health and had no underlying medical conditions. We were so thankful for her. We also were so happy that we had remained resolute in our pro-life convictions and left everything to God's will. Because if any time down the line we considered abortion as an option prior to our baby's birth, how would we have been able to look at her without feeling even a least bit guilty?